Mommy Guilt is Saving me Money

June 16, 2009 by Vikki C
Filed under: Budgeting 

Mommy guilt rears its ugly face in several different ways. I don’t experience mommy guilt when I am completely stressed, lose control and yell at my children because I know that I make mistakes and I always apologize afterwards. I don’t get mommy guilt when I truly don’t feel like playing with Play-Doo or reading another book before bedtime. My mommy guilt occurs when I have the thought of spending money on me. I have an overpowering sense of mommy guilt when I think of buying something for myself. I feel like I am stealing money from my family.

I think it is important to say that I am a saver 100% of the time. However, I think the act of saving money has become and addiction and I am working to find a healthy balance between saving money and treating myself to something nice. I am even cautious with my spending when I go out with friends; I confessed to my friends not too long ago that I don’t drink, not because I don’t like the taste, but because I am TOO FLIPPING CHEAP! I would like to point out that I will buy decorative items for the house, spend way too much money Christmas shopping, or take an exciting vacation, but none of those things benefit me and only me.

A while back my husband and I started giving ourselves allowances. Now, my husband who works for a bank, takes out his money every Friday whereas, I hardly ever take out my allowance. The few times when I have taken out my allowance, I spent it on the kids. Why? Good question…mommy guilt. I would rather take that money and spend it on Friday night dinner with the family. Crazy, I know, and then I kick myself when I don’t have the perfect sweater or shoes for church.

Before Mother’s Day, I could not tell you the last time I went to a department store or hell even Wal-Mart or Target and bought something for me. The only reason I bought something after Mother’s Day was because my father made me promise I would not spend the money have gave me on the family. What is sad is that when I made that promise I became emotional because it gave me permission to treat myself.

I keep telling myself, that once we have our 9 month emergency fund saved (we are close), or once we are no longer paying for daycare or once the cars are paid off, I will feel more comfortable spending money. But I am concerned that that list of ‘once the’ will always be present. I so want to shred this list, but I just don’t know how. I have read articles and posts about mommy guilt, but none seem to address my issue. Am I the only one with this problem?

In the end, I really do have everything I need, my family is healthy and happy, my children don’t need for anything, we have a beautiful house, we take vacations every year and we are on track to retiring comfortably. So is Mommy Guilt really a bad thing? Or am I just TOO DARN CHEAP?

Until I get over this feeling of mommy guilt, I guess I will continue to save money :(

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Comments

102 Comments on Mommy Guilt is Saving me Money

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